


New

by thesilverarrow



Series: Doctor Who/Companion ficlets [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: F/M, implied Third Doctor/Sarah Jane Smith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 01:58:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2211456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesilverarrow/pseuds/thesilverarrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Yes, he could probably be that to her, again. But, surely, she had to know it wasn't as simple as that.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	New

It was growing impossible to be around her.

For the longest time, he thought it was because she was pining, projecting at him some misplaced longing for the man he used to be. It was strange having these memories – what her skin tasted like, how she moaned when she was close, what her mouth felt like along the ridge of another self's spine. Yes, he could probably be that to her, again. But, surely, she had to know it wasn't as simple as that.

Eventually, he realized that she did know, and that he had been the fool. It wasn't as simple as that. He had no bloody clue whether she had any interest whatever in him as he was now.

But, oh, he wanted her, didn't he?

He was getting to know her all over again, which was just as disorienting as the reverse must've been for her. Or maybe it was just disorienting because of what it meant, because of the feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him he would soon be well and truly ass over teakettle for this wonderful, impossible girl.

He tried to suppress the tension, but that made it worse. When he wasn't keeping her at arms length, cold and aloof, he found himself feeling petulant and melancholy. And needy.

After one particularly exhausting adventure, she asked him if there was anything he needed.

"Just your company," he said.

So she sat there in the control room with him, watching him tinker with the console, and it took him more time than he'd like to admit to think to ask her:

"Is there anything _you_ need, my dear?"

"Just your company," she replied with a soft smile.

He nodded automatically, then it caught up to him.

"Really?"

She shrugged, her smile turning a bit sly, and said, "Sometimes, you're easy to be with."

"That's new, isn't it?"

She laughed aloud at that, and he wasn't sure if she was thinking of the way things had always been before, with all the running into the unknown and living to tell about it, or the way they'd been since he became this man, always bickering and eyeing each other warily as they circled around each other and each new challenge.

They were still a good team. He knew he wasn't likely to change, to be a less difficult person, but he also knew there were things he could offer her that his old self couldn't. For one, she seemed to make him want to slow down sometimes, to savor the present, which was, after all, the only time that was. Apparently, he did the same for her.

"Sarah?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you come to bed with me?"

She just raised her eyebrows, and he sighed.

"It's nothing like that," he murmured. "I've not been sleeping, is all."

It was a bald-faced lie, and perhaps she knew it, but she didn't say anything, just waited.

He added, "I sleep better when I'm not alone."

"You do not," she replied with a snort.

"You're so sure?"

"I kick."

"I know." It made him smile, thinking of her bare legs brushing the legs he used to have in the bed he used to sleep in. "What you don't know: now I sleep like the dead."

"When you bother to sleep at all."

He rolled his eyes.

For a long second, she studied his face. It occurred to him that he had no idea what she saw, what she'd been seeing. Disconcerting, that.

But she apparently liked it well enough, because she gave him a wry smile and got to her feet, holding out a hand, saying, "Off we go, then."

"Now?"

"Get it over with," she replied, eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Oh, I see."

"Really, I'm happy to oblige, Doctor."

 He paused at the door of the control room, her hand small and warm in his.

"Just until I get to sleep," he said.

"Sleep," she echoed with a nod. "Of course."

Her tone didn't catch up with him until they had moved a few paces down the corridor.

"You think I'm trying to seduce you," he said, astonishment a little too evident in his voice.

"I'm honestly not sure. I'm never sure with you." He watched a very dangerous grin light her face, but she didn't look him in the eye as she said: "But you can't have forgotten I know the easiest way to get you to sleep."

He felt his face flush, and that apparently gave her more amusement than anything else in the universe, for she squeezed his hand and said, "Oh, relax."

He frowned to himself. Relax, indeed.

"Whatever you think you're doing," he grumbled, "you're not likely to have the kind of effect you're after."

"No?"

"Having a beautiful woman clutching me and making innuendoes does not tend to put me at ease."

"You think I'm beautiful?"

"Of course I do. I also think you're having a good deal of fun with me."

"Not yet, I'm not."

He stopped for a moment, so he could look in her eyes.

He said, "Let's be entirely clear: I really am fine with just sleeping."

Her eyes narrowed. "Well, what if I'm not? Did you think of that?"

The heat in her gaze was unmistakable, a combination of frustration and a desperate lust like he could feel in his own body, now that they were so close.

"No, I did not," he replied.

She tugged him along again. "You never, ever do. At least that hasn't changed."

"Even if everything else has?"

She shrugged, then she gave him a wicked smile. "As long as it's not the important bits."

"Sarah."

This time, it was she who stopped them, and she'd put on her no-nonsense face.

"I get it, I do. You're not him, you're you. For your information, I'm starting to find _you_ rather charming in your own weird, scarf-smothered way. But you're also still him, in so many ways, and I can't unfeel that. I'm sorry if that makes things complicated for you, but—

"Not complicated at all." Another lie. But it was nothing either of them could change. "Just curious."

"What?"

"That you'd find yourself drawn to...us."

She snorted. "See, a difference there. He was always sure."

"No, he bloody well wasn't."

He thought of the first time his previous self had kissed her, how his hands had trembled at her back. They were not trembling now as he cradled her face and tilted her head up to look at him.

"Don't mistake action for certainty," he said.

When she raised an eyebrow, he frowned.

Growling impatiently, he mumbled, "Okay, so you can mistake it this time."

Then he bent and kissed her full on the mouth, deep and slow and not at all like he used to.


End file.
